Shinji the Good Fella
by Author0fntent
Summary: Shinji tries out a comeback from the Scorsese playbook to get back at Asuka.


*Disclaimer: I own nothing of Gainax or Warner Brothers. So fuggetaboutit...*

For once, Shinji was looking forward to the barbs Asuka would unleash upon him. No, THIS time he was ready. The inspiration had come to him while he was alone in the apartment (well, alone aside from Pen-Pen) one afternoon, flipping through channels until he stumbled upon a movie being shown. It was a pre-Second Impact American gangster movie, and it was in a certain scene that Shinji found a way to try and trump one of Asuka's slings. All he had to do was wait for the right moment...

The moment came when the three EVA pilots had just finished up a round of sync tests. Asuka had managed to bring her score up again, and she wasn't wasting any time in letting out every boast in the book. Finally, Shinji made his move-

Shinji: "Well, congrats, Asuka. But be warned, I might just overtake you next time. We both know I did it once, I could do it again..."

Asuka: "HAH! You're a REAL riot, Third. You're REALLY funny!"

Shinji went serious all of a sudden. "What do you mean I'm funny?"

Asuka didn't notice at first. "It's funny, you know. It's your reaction, it's funny, you're a funny guy!"

Shinji then took a more...dangerous-sounding tone. "What do you mean? You mean the way I talk? What?"

Everyone in the room soon went quiet. Asuka found herself startled by this change in the normally-timid Third Child.

Asuka tried to placate him. "It's just, you know, you're just funny. It's funny, the way you took it and everything."

Shinji didn't flinch. "Funny how? I mean, what's funny about it?"

Misato started to get a bit nervous. "Shinji, easy, you've got it all wrong—"

Shinji stopped her. "No no, Misato. She's a big girl, she knows what she said." He then turned back to Asuka. "What did you say? Funny how?"

Asuka: "Just—"

Shinji: "What?"

Asuka was now starting to get nervous herself-which didn't happen to her often. "Just, you know, you're funny."

Shinji remained undaunted. "You mean, let me understand this, because, you know maybe it's me, I'm a little screwed up maybe, but I'm funny how? I mean funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to amuse you? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?"

Asuka began to slightly sweat. "Just...you know, how you responded—what?"

Shinji was starting to look and sound even more dangerous as he got a bit closer. "No no, I don't know. You said it! How do I know? You said I'm funny. How the hell am I funny? What the hell is so funny about me?! Tell me, tell me what's funny!"

There was a long pause that followed. No one dared move in the tense air that had emerged. Everyone was starting to worry about what Shinji might do next. Asuka herself was quivering, doing her best to maintain her composure, but her heart was beating like she wouldn't believe. And then it happened.

Shinji let his mask slip as he smiled and stifled a small snicker. Then it became a chuckle, and eventually, full-blown laughter. It took a minute, but Makoto and Shigeru, eyeing one another for a brief second, finally were clued in on what was going on, and they joined in the laughter.

Shigeru held his side. "Somebody give the guy an Oscar, that was priceless!"

Makoto gave Shinji a small standing ovation. "Pesci would be proud of you, man! Bravo!"

Maya, Ritsuko and Misato were all dumbstruck by what just happened and the ensuing laughter. That feeling was short-lived.

Ritsuko was the first to break. "What are you talking-", she began to ask before it finally dawned on her, "OH, now I-" she nearly finished before she too broke out into laughter. Maya then put the pieces together herself, following her sempai's lead with a stream of giggling.

Misato was the last to catch up, with a full-on belly laugh. "You scamp! I can't believe you got her, you really had her going-you freaking had us **all** going! You magnificent bastard, you! Hey Rits, was she shaking? I wonder about you sometimes, Asuka. You may fold under questioning!"

The laughter continued, and a dumbfounded Asuka turned to everyone around her and then to Shinji. _Gott, I can't believe-he freaking actually GOT me_, she thought to herself. _The baka actually pulled one on me. ME! How is that even-?_ All of a sudden, she stopped questioning herself, and let a small smile appear on her face. It didn't take long for her to reason why: she actually kind of liked it. She'd wanted the guy to come out of his shell a bit more, and it had actually shown. Sure, she was the patsy in this prank of his, but to see him be a bit more bold was worth it. Maybe there'd be hope for him-and perhaps, her-yet.

Rei, stone-faced throughout the entire thing, looked around at the cacophony of laughter she was in the midst of, and simply said one thing:

"I don't get it."


End file.
